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Decide What You Want

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on October 8, 2013 at 2:45 PM Comments comments (0)

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."

Ben Stein- Author and Actor


If you are going to own your power and get what you really want out of life, you have to stop saying,

"I don't know;

I don't care;

It doesn't matter to me"

-or the favourite of teenagers, "whatever."

When you are confronted with choice, no matter how small or insignificant, act as if you have a preference. Ask yourself, if I did know, what would it be? If I did care, which would I prefer? If it did matter what would I rather do?

Not being clear about what you want and making other people's needs and desires more important than your own is simply a habit.

You can break it by practising the opposite habit. You can still care for others without compromising your own dreams and future. Know what you want, clarify it for yourself and then go get it. The power is in your hands.

(Reference: The Success Principles by Jack Canfield) 

Why Do You Do What You Do?

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on February 10, 2013 at 2:00 PM Comments comments (0)

“Purpose is what gives life a meaning.”

~ Charles H Perkhurst,

There is nothing more powerful than the clarity of purpose. When you are clear about why you are waking up every morning and doing what you do, the easier it is for you to find the motivation to do it. Paying the bills is not a good enough reason for waking up every morning. We all have to pay bills, but how we do that is entirely up to us. If you want to live a full and significant life then you have to consider all the areas of your life and your involvements. The most successful companies, and we are not just talking about profits only here, are the ones that are driven by a very clear understanding of why they do what they do.

Richard Leider once said that “the purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.” Not everybody lives and works on purpose, there are plenty out there that exist from day to day and just getting by. Don’t make that mistake. Make sure that you determine before hand what you want your life to stand for when you reach the end of it. I have dedicated my life to serving others by helping them activate their potential through the work I do. I choose to do this in a sustainable way so that I can activate the potential of my most important people – my family. That is why I run my business to make people better and as a result to create a great life for those I love and then extend my influence to those who need my help and support the most.

When You Are Clear About Why You Do What You Do, Then You Will Never Struggle To Find The Motivation And Strength To Do It.

Your life is a gift to you, what you do with it is a gift to the world. Take time to ponder the why for your work and life. Deep down in your heart you already know what is important to you but you have to articulate and draw strength from the knowledge that you are living and working for more than a salary.


Buhle Dlamini is an entrepreneur, author of numerous books, a sought-after speaker, author and CEO/Founder of Young and Able, a personal and business development consultancy, he is also the joint CEO of ForGood.

Use What You've Got

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on February 10, 2013 at 1:25 PM Comments comments (0)

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

~ Arthur Ashe, Tennis Player

Have you ever said, “one day when I have a million bucks I will do this and that.” I know that I have on many occasions and I have had to challenge myself to not wait for someday to do what I can do today. Sometimes we think that more money, more influence and more platforms will make it easier for us to make a difference in our world. The truth is you can always make a difference where you are with what you have. To wait for better conditions or circumstances is the illusion that really stops us from making an impact we can today.

Throughout my life I have learned that whenever I have used what I have, I have been amazed at the impact it makes. You don’t have to make a difference to thousands of young people, you just need to focus on the one that you can. You don’t have to be a hero to multitudes; you just need to be a hero to your own kids and your spouse. You don’t have to have millions but just give what you can to the causes you care about and you’ll see how far your little stretches to make a difference.

Your Impact Is Not Limited By Your Access Or Circumstances But By Your Will And Your Action. Decide That You Will Do What You Can With What You Have And You’ll Be Amazed.

God asked Moses by the burning bush, “what is in your hand?” and the shepherd’s staff that represented his identity, income and influence became the very thing that changed the cause of history. What is in your hand and how can it be used to impact and influence your world. Don’t complain about what you don’t have but use what you already have.


Buhle Dlamini is an entrepreneur, author of numerous books, a sought-after speaker, author and CEO/Founder of Young and Able, a personal and business development consultancy, he is also the joint CEO of ForGood.

Get Back On that Horse

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on February 10, 2013 at 1:15 PM Comments comments (0)

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”

~ Dale Carnegie,

Failing once or twice is not a good enough reason to not try again. Many of the now successful people in different fields have failed more than once but they got back on the horse and tried again. Many of us give up when we loose steam or run out of motivation. But to reach your potential you have to be willing to try and try again by getting up when you have fallen. I have found that true success in life lies not in never making mistakes and failing but in learning from your mistakes and doing things better than you did before.

Getting back on the horse is also not about stubbornly doing the same thing over and over again when it is clearly not working. Many people confuse resilience with stupidity, which is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Trying again is about not giving up when you meet challenges but learning from your previous mistakes so as to not make the same mistakes again.

If At First You Don’t Succeed Try Again But This Time Use Your Experience As Your Guide To Doing It Better.

You can achieve incredible things if you are willing to get up and try again. Your first idea may not always be the winner you thought it was but as you try different plans and strategies you often find the right path to your dreams. Where have you fallen and given up in your life? Are there hopes and dreams that you have simply abandoned because of previous failure? Today could be the day that you decide to get back on that horse and try again. Just do it.


Buhle Dlamini is an entrepreneur, author of numerous books, a sought-after speaker, author and CEO/Founder of Young and Able, a personal and business development consultancy, he is also the joint CEO of ForGood.

Face Your Brutal Truths

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on January 17, 2013 at 5:25 AM Comments comments (0)

by Buhle Dlamini

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool. “

~ Richard P. Feynman


We all have them. Hang-ups, mess-ups and just plain bad habits, things we know we need to deal with but just never get around to doing it. If you are going to be all that you can be, you’re not going to get away without having to deal with the issues in your life. Successful people learn early on to face the brutal truths in their lives. No matter who you are we all have certain characteristics in our personality that hold us back from reaching our destiny. We do like it when others point out these things, as it usually hurts. However, if we are to progress we need to get beyond our feelings and see if there is any merit in the things pointed out about us.

 Nobody ever succeeds by fooling himself or herself. So here is what I suggest you do to get ahead. First, go to a quiet place by yourself with a pen and paper and ask yourself, “What are some of the things that I personally need to work on? What are the things that are holding me back in some way?” Secondly, plan some time with people who know you well and ask them a simple question “What do you think I really need to work on, habits, attitudes and neglects?” Good friends will tell you the truth. In my case they will tell me that I really need to stop procrastinating and leaving things to last minute or completely forgetting to deal with them.

You Hold The Most Important Key To Your Success, The Ability To Change Yourself. When You Can Change Things About Yourself That Hold You Back You Can Become A True Winner.

 The third step in the process is to work out a practical plan on how you are going to deal with the things that are holding you back. This has to be practical and must be something you can do and start immediately. A good example for procrastinators is to carry a small booklet with the things you need to achieve each day. As you start working with your system you soon find that the habits that held you back are slowly but surely replaced by better ones. Face your brutal truth and deal with it to win.


Buhle Dlamini is an entrepreneur, author of numerous books, a sought-after speaker, author and managing director of Young and Able cc, a personal and business development consultancy, he is also the joint CEO of ForGood.

Breaking Out Of Your Box

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on January 15, 2013 at 1:50 PM Comments comments (0)

by Buhle Dlamini

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”

~ Brian Tracy, Author and Speaker

It is amazing how the very thing that has brought you this far can over time become a box that is keeping you bound from experiencing new opportunities. Very few people take the time to reinvent themselves in pursuit of a new and often bigger adventure. The reason many of us allow our current boxes to keep us from moving forward is the fear of the unknown and also the fear of loss. When you have spent years building your current box, the fear of loosing what you have can keep you from getting what you could if you attempted new things.

Each one of us, no matter how far we have gone in the pursuit of our dreams, have the potential to be much more than we are now. But to reach that potential we have to be willing to step out of our now comfort zones and dream even bigger dreams. You have to recognise that everything you have experienced and done up to this point has been preparation for an even higher dream. You can only attempt the next big thing because you have pushed through and done what you have done up until now.

Success Is A Continual Process Of Leaving The Familiar And Going To A New Place. Like In A Video Game, Mastering One Stage Opens The Door To the Next.

What is your current box of comfort? Is it your current employment, business or a certain level in your sporting endeavour? Whatever it is, you need to decide whether this is the best you’ll ever be or there is still more for you. I believe that living your full potential means that as long as we are alive, we can’t stop reaching higher and further. So the question for you is; what is going to be the next chapter in your story of potential and development. Dream it, Plan it and Do it!


Buhle Dlamini is an entrepreneur, author of numerous books, a sought-after speaker, author and CEO/Founder of Young and Able, a personal and business development consultancy, he is also the joint CEO of ForGood.

How To Eat Healthy at Work (eHow Video)

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on January 15, 2013 at 5:20 AM Comments comments (0)

How to Eat Healthy at Work -- powered by ehow

Becoming A Charismatic Leader

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on January 15, 2013 at 1:45 AM Comments comments (0)


Some leaders have a powerful presence, seemingly dripping charisma from every pore. They engage easily with others, and give moving persuasive talks even under duress. In his book, Infectious: How to Connect Deeply and Unleash the Energetic Leader Within (Allworth Press, 2013), performance coach Achim Nowak looked at this elusive quality and gives five tips for upping your X-factor.


1. Be prepared. You can't be compelling if you're worried about what you're going to say next, says Nowak. If you have time, review the key points you wish to make before your meeting or presentation to ensure you're versed in the topic.


When there's no time to prepare, make a quick assessment of your audience and what will resonate with them. Talk about issues that matter to you: Tell employees about your passion for creating a great workplace and prospective investors about your vision for growth.


2. Shed the stoicism. "The moment we are in business we step into what I call the veil of the professional role," Nowak says. It's tough to be charismatic if your interactions don't have passion, humor, or some other element of emotion and human connection, he says.


If you're too buttoned-up and reserved, it's tough to truly connect with people. Nowak asks his clients to think about when they're at home with their children or out with their friends and when they're more "fired up" and to remember that feeling, tapping into it when they're in the office and need to motivate those around them.


3. Embody enthusiasm. Charisma has a physical component, as well, so pay attention to your body language. Notice how you stand when you're feeling comfortable and in control and practice that posture in everyday life.


Work on calming your breathing to appear more relaxed and confident. Smile and make eye contact. Slouching, anxious body language will undermine even the most passionate spoken message.


4. Be authentic. If it's not your style to make jokes or use hyperbole, then don't, says Nowak. Forcing yourself to adopt a style that isn't natural for you is only going to undermine your credibility, he says.


Get rid of rote, generic responses too. For example, Nowak helped one client increase employees' levels of engagement on conference calls just by changing her standard "that's great" response to more meaningful feedback. "It energized her and energized her listeners. It really is just retraining ourselves to look at how we interact with people on that micro level," he says.


5. Practice. It might sound odd to "practice" being charismatic, but Nowak says it's absolutely possible to increase your appeal and influence through repetition. The "muscle memory" of effective interpersonal communication is as real as that of physical activity.



Train Your Brain To Stay Focused

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on January 15, 2013 at 1:05 AM Comments comments (0)


As an entrepreneur, you have a lot on your plate. Staying focused can be tough with a constant stream of employees, clients, emails, and phone calls demanding your attention. Amid the noise, understanding your brain’s limitations and working around them can improve your focus and increase your productivity.


Our brains are finely attuned to distraction, so today's digital environment makes it especially hard to focus. "Distractions signal that something has changed," says David Rock, co-founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute and author of Your Brain at Work (HarperCollins, 2009). "A distraction is an alert says, 'Orient your attention here now; this could be dangerous.'" The brain's reaction is automatic and virtually unstoppable.


While multitasking is an important skill, it also has a downside. "It reduces our intelligence, literally dropping our IQ," Rock says. "We make mistakes, miss subtle cues, fly off the handle when we shouldn't, or spell things wrong."


To make matters worse, distraction feels great. "Your brain's reward circuit lights up when you multitask,” Rock says, meaning that you get an emotional high when you're doing a lot at once.


Ultimately, the goal is not constant focus, but a short period of distraction-free time every day. "Twenty minutes a day of deep focus could be transformative," Rock says.


Try these three tips to help you become more focused and productive:


1. Do creative work first. Typically, we do mindless work first and build up to the toughest tasks. That drains your energy and lowers your focus. "An hour into doing your work, you've got a lot less capacity than (at the beginning)," Rock says. "Every decision we make tires the brain."


In order to focus effectively, reverse the order. Check off the tasks that require creativity or concentration first thing in the morning, and then move on to easier work, like deleting emails or scheduling meetings, later in the day.


2. Allocate your time deliberately. By studying thousands of people, Rock found that we are truly focused for an average of only six hours per week. "You want to be really diligent with what you put into those hours," he says.


Most people focus best in the morning or late at night, and Rock's studies show that 90 percent of people do their best thinking outside the office. Notice where and when you focus best, then allocate your toughest tasks for those moments.


3. Train your mind like a muscle. When multitasking is the norm, your brain quickly adapts. You lose the ability to focus as distraction becomes a habit. "We've trained our brains to be unfocused," Rock says.


Practice concentration by turning off all distractions and committing your attention to a single task. Start small, maybe five minutes per day, and work up to larger chunks of time. If you find your mind wandering, just return to the task at hand. "It’s just like getting fit," Rock says. "You have to build the muscle to be focused."

Discipline Your Self To Success

Posted by Buhle Dlamini on January 14, 2013 at 7:25 PM Comments comments (0)

"The Price of Discipline is always less than The Pain of Regret"

-Nido Qubain



One of the keys to success is discipline but nobody likes to hear about discipline. The result is that many of us settle for an average existence when we could be living our dreams. To be all that you can be in business and in life you need to put few very important things in place. It might be a drag at times and sometimes you might wish that you can wake up to your dream life without effort.


In the quick fix world of instant results and eat-all-you-want-and-lose-weight-diets, sticking to a set of routines that puts you at the head of your field is not popular.

As Nido Qubain puts it so well "The Price of Discipline is always less than The Pain of Regret". All of us know the pain of regret when we wake up to the realisation that our lack of discipline has cost us something really valuable in our lives. If you want to make this year an successful one, you need to work out what areas you need to practice self discipline to get that reward you are looking for.


This has to be your decision to make your life better, your decision to increase your performance and more. What are some areas where you can exercise discipline to reach success:


Articulate and Stick To Goals


The discipline of setting clear, practical goals for your life, career and business is often cited as the number one reason the successful become more successful. Why not practice this discipline right now by taking your notebook or diary and writing at least 3 goals you want to achieve this month. Start with these short term goals and break them down to activities you will have to do everyday until your goals are reached. You will soon see that if you were able to set and achieve 3 monthly goals you can set and achieve yearly goals and then 3 year goals and so on. Why not start now and then discipline yourself to follow through.


Nurture Your Mind, Body and Soul


The most important asset that you have is you. Not your house, not your car, not your network but you. If you are like many other people you probably have neglected yourself over the years while working on these other things in your life. This is a big mistake that will cost you dearly in the future unless you change. Your ability to perform is purely dependant on how your mind, body and soul are right now. If you always feel tired because you lack good exercise and rest it will affect how sharp you are at work, thus impacting on your performance. If you discipline yourself to nurture your mind through reading, attending workshops and good discussion, you will find that you have more to offer the world.


Develop Your Character and Relationships


Who you are becoming is more important than what you are achieving. Your character says a lot about who you are becoming and to work on ones character takes discipline. To really become who you are meant to be means that you have to be serious about what you value in life. All of us have areas we want to improve upon to become better people that we know we can be. Maybe your lack of patience makes you an irritable person that others find hard to be around or maybe it's procrastination that makes others doubt your word to be true. Only you can develop your character to be what you want it to be, but you have to discipline yourself in certain areas of your character daily. Your relationship with others is always impacted by your character and your discipline towards improving those relationships.


It is possible for you to reach unparalleled levels of success in your life but you need to be willing to pay the upfront price of discipline than to suffer the pain of regret later when you suffer the results of your lack of discipline. Decide to work on a few discipline areas and take action now and see how amazing your year will be.


Buhle Dlamini is an entrepreneur, author of numerous books, a sought-after speaker, author and managing director of Young and Able cc, a personal and business development consultancy, he is also the joint CEO of ForGood.


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